Monday, April 28, 2014

The 9 Agonizing Stages Of Waiting For The Next Book In A Series To Come Out


Book series are a wonderful thing, but the wait time between installments can be agonizing. Some authors and publishers have wised up to how impatient we've collectively become, and have applied the binge-watching mentality to books by rolling titles out more quickly. Still, we're lucky if authors like George R.R. Martin get around to penning their books within years of each other, and regardless, the times between release dates has to be filled with something. We recommend supplementing your wallowing with reading related titles, but ultimately, the choice is yours.

Here are the 9 painful stages of waiting for the next book in a series to come out:

1. You complete the latest book. After a weekend holed up in your bedroom, you've finally finished. It's bittersweet. You're reluctant to set the book down, and re-read the final sentence several times before doing so.

2. You bond with other fans. You immediately call all of your friends who have been pestering you to get through the latest book. You can't BELIEVE the protagonist would do such a thing!

3. Withdrawal sets in. To get your fix, you search for author interviews, fan forums, any source that could possibly bestow you with further info about the series. For a while, it works. But it's not enough.

4. The emptiness begins to overwhelm you. How are you supposed to fill this gaping void?! You look everywhere for anything with a remote connection to the series, including Amazon's wonky "Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought" recommendations, and, okay, maybe also some fan fiction.

5. You start to recover. You've hit rock bottom, and yet life continues. You've begun to kick the habit of spending all of your free time tracking down weird fan esoterica. It's arguable that you're on your way to normalcy. You even went outside!

6. An excerpt of the next book is released! This is wonderful news! You stop whatever you're doing and read the excerpt immediately. And then promptly continue to freak out all over again.

7. A release date is set, and time slows down. Wait. What. The release date is pegged to next year? Only 262974.5 minutes to go! You begin to think of other benchmarks and activities to look forward to in the meantime; at least there are two three-day weekends and a wedding to tide you over. Right? Right?!

8. You begin to strategize. You begin to plot out the quickest way to get your hands on a copy when it does finally come out. Do you pre-order on Amazon? Do you camp out in front of your local bookstore? Do you pester the author incessantly to send you a copy in advance because you are literally his or her biggest fan of all time? All of the above? Decisions, decisions.

9. At long last, the book has arrived! Read slowly. Repeat steps one through eight.

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